Work It Out!

O.K, so I have been on this weight loss challenge. It's summer time right? Right. So I decided that I was going to get my butt in gear. I have become a workout-aholic. It's not a bad thing, but my body is screaming. I love it though.

I look at some of these celebrities and I wonder how they manage to workout as much as they do with the schedules they have. I find it hard to workout in my normal life. I want a hard body-not man hard-but hard. I want a body like this:

But I have to work for mine. I can't afford lipo right now and I am not doing a colonic. My body is coming along. I'm expecting it to look the way I want by August. That is the great unveiling of the "new me". So, I'm wondering is there any body out there who is working on their beach bod as well? Has it been hard or no? It hasn't been hard for me because I'm so pumped to get "that" body that It's not a chore for me to eat well and workout. I always eat well, I just didn't workout. Now, it's the first thing I do when I wake up. I brush my teeth, wash my face and workout. Watch out world-SHE'S COMING!

On another note, these celebrities better watch it with that liposuction and colonics before their damn stomachs fall out(if that's even possible).

Not too much to rant about today. I'm off to workout.

Limitations

So, if you read my last post and the comments that followed, you would know that one of the cyber-beefers followed me to my blog. More like they hunted me down at my blog. What the hell? Let it go people. Let it go.

But that brings me to my latest topic. I am thoroughly convinced that it is one of those people that I talked about (the miserable ones with no lives) who decided that they were going to follow me to my blog to continue a cyber-beef. I had to think to myself- I said, "Self, why is this ho following me to my personal site?" Did I just slip and call her a ho? Oh, well. Shit happens. Anyway, I have found in my life that because I don't talk like my name is La'Quasha, Alize' or Shaqueefa; I tend to upset or garner critisism from girls that don't speak like I do. Because I speak like a woman who is highly educated and has goals to be something other than a McDonald's employee; it seems to provoke alot of anger in other Black Women. They tell me that I think I'm better than them(which I don't). They tell me that I think I'm all that( o.k, that one's true). But I don't look down on anyone. I just grew up different. My Mom exposed me to so many different people, music and art. I went to school with all different types of people. I was, at one time, one of only 3 black girls in my whole class. If ya'll want to be mad about that, then so be it. But I thank my Mom for showing me different things and opening up my world to new people, places and things.

I spoke briefly about being called a "white girl" in my previous post, hell you can look in the comments and see what I'm talking about. This is not the first, second, third or even the hundreth time that I've been called a "white girl". As I have said before, it doesn't in any way hurt my feelings, but I think it's sad. Yeah, I did like Anna Nicole Smith. Yes, I do think Britney was the shit in her hayday. Yes, I watch Golden Girls religiously. And yes, I do know other singers besides Beyonce' and Rihanna. What is wrong with us? I am only supposed to like black singers/entertainers because I am black. Am I supposed to limit my viewing preferences to only shows that are starring black people. Well, sorry to upset you, but I like Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Metallica, Kid Rck, Sheryl Crow, Maroon 5, Creed, Fall Out Boy and many more "non black" artist. Yes, I also like R&B, Hip Hop, Raggae and Pop, but why should I only listen to those types of music? Does it make me any less black that I grew up on Aerosmith and Queen? I also grew up listening to Patti LaBelle, The Isley Brothers, Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Luther Vandross and Stevie Wonder among others. I will not put myself in a box for anyone. Yeah, guess what, I have white friends too. How sad for you. How sad for any Black, White, Puerto Rican or any other race that only associates with their own. How sad for you. You are missing out on so much because in reality, you are afraid to associate with another race. Maybe you think you're not good enough? Maybe. When will black people learn that you will get no where in life without associating with other races. These same people that tease me for being a "white girl" are the same people coming over the loud speaker saying, "Welcome to McDonalds. May I help you". While I on the other hand, sit in my nice comfy chair and rate places like that and their performance. See the difference. By me opening my mind and understanding that there are more people out there than just "our people", I have opened up so many doors and have been afforded so many oppurtunites that "they" won't be. So, yeah keep on calling me a "white girl". I know who I am, and your words don't effect me. If anything it saddens me to know that "We" are still stuck in the slave era. Still afraid to go near "Massa". When will ya'll learn? Being stuck where you are is not a good thing. Stop being afraid to step outside of the box. Maybe you'll enjoy life more instead of wasting your life spewing negativity towards others.

And just for the record, this post was not directed to the commenter on the previous post. This post was to everyone who lives in a box. People that wanna hate me because I refuse to be stuck. People that wanna hate me because I refuse to speak or allow my children to speak anything other than proper english(well except for when I'm around the homies*smile*). Hate me all you want. I've been immune to your hating for many years now. When will you learn that calling me a "white girl" does not hurt me. It just makes you look like what you really and truly are-IGNORANT. Can all my intelligent, well spoken and educated black women stand up please?!?!?!?!

Cyber Beefing

O.K, so I was on the internet the other day and I got pulled into a "cyber-beef". I am usually not one to get into altercations with people on the internet( I think it's silly), but this person tried to call me out for a comment I made about or to someone else. It was really silly and childish because the only words I remember them typing are "bitch", "whore" and "slut". They called me a white slut at that, and I 'm not even white! I responded to them in a very grown up fashion (no cursing) and thought that was the end of it. Well, just for shits and giggles I went back to that thread and found out that they had made more comments. I made another comment to them and then thought about what I was doing. The same thing that I think is so silly and quite stupid when I see other people doing it- Cyber-Beefing! Why am I arguing (over the computer no less) with someone that I don't know, will never know and is of no importance in my life. I did not comment again and I won't.

Off topic: Why is it that when a woman is educated, articulate and can formulate a sentence without using the words, "bitch", "whore", "slut", "cunt" or "ho", she has to white? Why? Have we fallen so far as a race that we think that all black people are supposed to speak Ebonics? It saddens me because that is not the only time on a blog that I have been called a white girl. It doesn't offend me, but what is that saying about "Us". Just a thought or rather a question that I wanted to put out there.

Back on topic: I have been to many blogs and whenever I go to the comment section there are always the same people "cyber-beefing" with other posters. What kind of person sits at home looking for fights to pick with people on a blog? I mean really, what kind of life do you have? I don't know. What I do know, is that that was my last time cyber-beefing with anyone. It was so pointless and childish, but there are people out there who live for that. It's quite sad really. You have nothing better to do with your life than stalk blog sites and find people to pick fights with. Cyber-thugs is what they're called. People who try to intimidate others with their brash language. They must be really lonely huh? They are probably outcasts at school(at least I hope they're children), and the only way that they can take out their aggression is to start cyber-fights with people that can't see them and that don't know what kind of lonely, miserable life they really have. Because we all know that on the internet, you can be whoever you want to be. Right? Right.

Where Did The Music Go?

Riddle me this: What happened to real artists making real music? What happened to artists selling records based on their talent and creativity? What happened to an artist's looks being only part of the package and not the entire package? Tell me, where did the music go?

















Take this girl here. When Rhianna first came out, she was a normal girl trying to get here sing thing on. She sold reasonably well, but then the pressure to become a "Superstar" came into play and then, well she became this:

















Poor child. She fed into the "if you're not sexy, you don't sell" b.s., and now she is your typical girl who wears little next to nothing and puts out mediocre songs. Let the image sell your records huh? What happened to the Patti Labelles of the world? The Tina Turners. The Aretha Franklins? The Whitney Houstons? What has happened to my beloved music? Where has she gone? Lost. Lost to a world of helpless little hoes who sleep their way to the top, and make music that lasts for 6 months and then fade away never to be seen or heard from again.

Unless they're like this little girl who happened to find a formula that will keep her around for 2-3 years or more. What is that formula you ask? I call it the Beyonce' formula. Dress sexy, make catchy songs, and cute videos. Videos that of course show you in little next to nothing. Now unlike this little girl here, Beyonce' actually does have some talent. She can sing and she does put on a hell of a show. So my question? Why is it necessary for her to be damn near half naked all the time in every video? Why? Can you name one video where she was fully dressed. Not showing any skin? No? Me either. It started with them:













Yup, Destiny's Child. Before they came out groups actually wore clothes. They actually used talent to sell records. Remember TLC? They, at one point were the biggest selling girl group of all time and they barely showed anything when they first came out. Even when they started to show a little skin, they never showed more than stomach. They were always classy and always relied on their great music and videos to make us fall in love with them. But when D.C. came along, it all went to shit. I mean every girl group that came out after them dressed exactly like them. I am in no way saying that this is their fault, but obviously the record execs saw that this formula worked and ran with it. Now, all we have is half naked solo singers and groups being pushed on us everyday. I hate it. I hate that there are soooo many super duper talented girls out here who will never get a chance to shine because they don't have the right look or won't put out. Take this girl for instance:












What has she ever done to have a record deal besides take some pretty photos, sing off-key and screw her boss? Really. What the fuck is going on. Are we ever gonna have real music again? Or is this the present and future of music? I certainly hope not. Even the female rappers feel the need to take it all off to sell records. Example:

















Poor thing. Doesn't she know that she is beautiful without taking it all off? It disgusts me how these women allow the men at the labels to turn them into hoes on the stage (rather than on the corner). These men tell these girls that they have to take it off to sell. And because they are soooo desperate for fame, they are willing to do whatever they say to get to the top. The sad part is that most of these girls will never reach the level of success that this young lady has:

















But that sure doesn't stop them from trying.

















I feel so sorry for these girls. But more so, I feel sorry for us.

Crabs In A Barrel?

O.K., I'm going to pull from my African American side *wink* and speak on the self hate and hate in our community period.

I frequent a lot of Black Gossip Blogs everyday, and whenever I go to the comment section I am always surprised by the level of hatred that we have for one another. Example: I went to a blog today and there was a video of Michelle Williams'(Destiny Child) new single "Break the Dawn". I watched the video without sound and loved it. I thought it was very Janet Jackson yet very Whitney Houston-esque. I absolutely loved when the male dancers were slipping and sliding and swinging her all over their bodies. I thought that was the bidness. That was hot. Fire! But when I went to the comment section, it seemed like I was the only person that felt that way. "Nice try", they typed. "I hate to compare her to Beyonce' but..." "She's too skinny". "I hate the song." "I hate the video." And too many more to remember. It was disgusting, but it made me think.

I went to another site where they had a photo of Shay "Buckeey" Johnson from King magazine. Now, while I don't agree with nor do I condone women taking off their clothes and spreading their legs for the camera, I don't knock any one's hustle. I mean hey, get it how you live. Right? Right. So, again I go to the comment section, and it was the same frickin' hate multiplied by 1000. "She has a nice body, but her face is ugly", one poster wrote. "Yeah, she is beat in the face." Really? It's that serious huh? Pathetic is more like it. Why is it that we feel the need to tear down someone else's dreams or goals or even the way they look when we don't feel so great about ourselves. I can pick them out. You know, the ones who look in the mirror and don't necessarily like what they see. You know them. We all have at least one friend like them. The friend that has something negative to say about everyone. The friend that just simply cannot find a nice thing to say about anybody. The friend who you know is only saying these things because she is not the people that she talks about.

I used to hang out with this girl named "Charlie". "Charlie" was about 450 pounds on a good day, but she was funny and she was my best friend. There was a time, back in the day, where "Charlie" and I would go out quite a bit. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I always got-and still get- a lot of attention. Well, when a guy would come over to talk to me, "Charlie" would start to make negative comments about me. She would say it like it was a joke, but I knew it was because the men were not giving her any attention. That was her way of "blocking", as we would say in the hood. It never failed. If we were out and a guy would come to talk to someone in our group, she would start with the insults: "You don't want her, she has a mustache." "You don't want her, she has children." "You don't want her, she snores". Anything to get the guys attention away from the other female. Damn. Self hate is a motherfucker.

I see a lot of the same behavior on the internet. People who sit behind their computer screens and pick apart everyone else. Now don't get me wrong. If I see someone with a jacked up wig or a super horrific outfit, I will speak on it. But these people are just mean for no reason. The things they say has nothing to do with the picture or the post itself. It's just a way for them to take out their hate for themselves on someone else. A way for them to let someone else feel the pain they feel everyday. It's a shame really. But can I blame them for this? Especially black women. Can I blame them for this?

Let's be real about this for a minute. You rarely see a black woman on t.v. period (unless it's a black show or network), and when you do she 's mixed or light, bright and damned near white. When Black Women look at videos who do they see? You got it, Light Bright. I feel their pain because I used to feel it myself. I used to feel like I wasn't good enough because I wasn't that light bright girl with the super duper long wavy hair down my back. I am light, but not as light as they were. So I felt a little of that as well. I think every woman-black, white or whatever-feels a little less than when she sees a woman on t.v. whose all dressed up and made up and toned up. We all have a little jealousy in us but we don't have to allow that to turn us into some horrible, miserable hate spewing monsters.

Then you have the black woman and our "crabs in a barrel" mentality. Not just black women, but black people in general. Why can't we be happy for someone else's success. Like when 50 cent got his new deal worth 300 million. We couldn't be happy for him. He was a "sell-out", a "faggot" and many other names. Now, while I may not be a fan of 50's, I do admire him for his business acumen. But not others. They just had to find something negative about him to say. Why are "we" like this? Believe it or not, we could have the same things he has if we believe and work hard enough. But because Black People have this insane notion that we can't and won't ever get out of our hoods. We will never be what "they" are. Don't you understand. "They" are "Us". They just had a dream and were smart enough, bold enough, courageous enough to go after them. I for one am not mad at that. Shoot, I am going after my dreams now; because I have the strength and belief that I can and will reach and surpass my goals. I can only hope that "My People" will stop hating on the next person enough to focus on making your life better. Maybe if you would get rid of the jealousy and envy of others, you could maybe learn to love yourself a little more. Therefor giving you the confidence to pursue the dreams and goals you thought were unobtainable. Just maybe.

And just for the "haters";~), here's that Buckeey photo spread and Michelle Williams video. Enjoy.




Michelle Williams "We Break The Dawn"



















Shay "Buckeey" Johnson in Smooth Magazine.
I guess girl. Get it how you live. *sigh*

Ain't Love Grand

This is what new love looks like when it's still in it's embryotic phase. When it hasn't quite developed into what it is going to be. When you are still intoxicated by his smell. When all he has to do is look at you to get you "in the mood". Yeah, new love. Ain't it grand?

And then, real life hits. You can't stand when he leaves his hair in the sink after he shaves. You absolutely hate that he eats the last of the fried chicken and then acts like he doesn't know you wanted a piece when there were 4 pieces left!!!!! You despise the fact that when he rolls over at night, he pulls all the covers with him. Tell me, why does the music have to be on blast when you're driving in the car? Does the whole house have to rock when he's listening to his CD's? Did I buy that whole loaf of bread for just you? Yeah, ain't love grand?

You see, I too got married after 6 weeks of courtship, and though I am still married- I would never recommend that to anyone. If I could have told Nick and Mariah one thing, it would have been to date for at least a year before you get married or even think about being married. It gives you a chance to really get to know someone before you marry them. It gives you a chance to see them inside and out. Come on, we all know that in the first 3 -6 months, people are only showing you the side they really want you to see. The real them doesn't surface until around the 7th-8th month. You see all their ugly little sides that they tried to keep hidden, but couldn't anymore. The longer you date, the more you know. So, while I wish them much success in their marriage, I have little hope for it. Shoot, it's hard enough being married to someone you hardly know in regular life, but add to it the stress and strains of negative bloggers and paparazzi, and you have a recipe for disaster. I hope that I am wrong, I truly do because I don't wish heartache on anyone-but marriage ain't easy.

See people think that love is hard. Naw, love ain't hard. Love is an emotion, a feeling that is natural and pure. Relationships and making them work are what is hard. Living with someone who may be opposite of you. Compromising and communicating. That is what is hard. Believe me, marriage takes a lot of work to make it a success. Yeah, in the beginning, I looked just like them. All lovey dovey, hugged up and always smiling-then reality hit, "Oh shit, this is the man that I am going to be with for the rest of my life." Not easy to deal with. Especially when you are dealing with someone who may be a little less able and prepared to be in a relationship. Someone who still has some issues to work out on their own. Issues that should have been worked out before they got married. But that would have been a known fact to me had I waited a bit longer before getting married. Because I am a person who does not believe in divorce-unless there is no other way- I decided to stay in it and make it work, and I am still working on it til this day. It still ain't easy. Maybe one day it will get easier. Maybe.

For anyone out there who is thinking that they are soooooo in love that they have to get married right away after a very short courtship, I say to you that if you are really in love and want to be together, then you will love each other a year from now, right? Right. So wait and get to know each other. You just might save yourself from the worst mistake in your life. Not saying that my marriage was but....

Also look at his exes. See who he was with before you...

Yeah, that says alot. I'm done.

A New Day

First, greetings from me to you. Thank you for coming and I hope you come back. This is a great day for me because I get to vent my feelings in a public forum. What's so great about that you say? Well, maybe, just maybe there are many more people out there who feel the same way I feel about things. Maybe there are people out there who are going through the same things I am going through and maybe they need a place to find solace and comfort. I hope that this will be that place. A place for intelligent, mature people to discuss real life and sometimes celebrities real lives-but only in a way that relates to us.

That brings me to why I have Britney as the Header for this site and why I have a slide show of her as well. What is more real than a celebrity who we thought had it all-fame, beauty, millions of adoring fans and more money that she could probably count (o.k that was wrong),but you understand what I am saying. Then it all goes wrong. She hooks up with an unemployed dancer with a kid and a pregnant girlfriend. She gets married to the guy, has two kids by him and the next thing you know...crotch shots(NSFW). If this ain't real life for ya, I don't know what is. Just goes to show ya that no matter how much money, fame and famous friends you have, life will always come back to bite you on the ass. Real talk. Stay tuned for more about their lives...and mine.